I was with my girlfriend at a picnic at Balboa Park, drinking champagne and snuggling on a blanket, and all I could think about was how much work I had to do, constantly checking my watch.

All I could focus on is all the time I was wasting.

I even had my backpack and laptop in the car in case “ I somehow got a couple free moments to work on some stuff”

Instead of soaking up these precious moments with my girlfriend (and soon to be wife), all I could think about was how I should be at a coffee shop right now.

I didn’t even have a clearly defined game plan…

It was a neuroses…

I had to get work done, because I hadn’t gotten enough done during the workday…

And that was the issue…

I didn’t have realistic expectations of myself or clearly defined objectives throughout the day, and once I completed all those objectives being complete for the day, and closing the loop on my workday.

I was psychologically and emotionally more married to my WORK, then I was to my soon to be WIFE.

It was constantly gnawing at me…

and while I made up the excuse that I have a big mission, even found of myself heroic,

The truth was, I was LAZY and I had no Idea how to set boundaries.

Too lazy to define my job clearly…or learn how to set boundaries…

so I could work on it all the time, and AVOID the thing I was deeply craving…


I teach about Relational Intelligence as one of the pillars in my Academy, because so many of us use work to escape the deeper pain,

of not feeling connected…

You deserve that…Connection. Belonging. Intimacy.

No matter how much you push it away.

I now have the sexiest wife in the sexiest friends on the planet haha

I have thousands of business connections AND a few really deep, vulnerable relationships…Where none of me has to hide or put up a front.

I feel so damn fulfilled, because I get to have it all… A six-figure business, incredible sex, thriving health, and freaking awesome presence with my friends, family and dog 🐶

Creative Warrior Key 🔑 here:

+ Clearly define your tasks and work life.

+ Learn from someone how to set boundaries. (And not a book, you’ve already read enough of those, and this is still a problem)

+ Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. It forces you to be clear on your tasks and what you need done.

+ Clearly define your schedule between your work time and your play time.

Here’s to ALL the parts of your life fully arriving Creative Warrior,

Matthew Cooke


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